Have you ever gone into a meeting and instead of sitting at the table, decided to sit back from it? If you have, then my message today is directly for you. If you want to be taken seriously, not be overlooked and seen as an equal then join the group, meeting or forum the way most leaders do – by sitting at the table!

I facilitate so many forums where I ask people to take a seat and they stand and lean against the wall OR where I ask them to take a seat (and there are seats available) and they wave back at me and say it’s OK I’m fine here thanks! At that moment my heart always sinks as more often than not, their presence (or lack of) is showing up as self doubt, not confident and feeling like they don’t deserve a place like everyone else in the room. Whether the person knows that or not when they wave back at me, but that’s the perception people will have of them. In fact, their presence in the room will not be seen, felt or heard as by sitting apart from or standing around the wall of the room, you actually make yourself invisible to the discussion / meeting.

So many books have been written about this, a key one being Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg who was then the CEO of Facebook.

I’m not suggesting you go off and read this book, what I am suggesting is that you value yourself enough to confidently take your seat at the table. Afterall, you have been invited (because of your knowledge, skills and competence) to the meeting to participate and not just stand around or sit on the outer.

“It’s kind of laughable that people will go to the extent of getting themselves to a meeting and then disqualify themselves from the discussion based on where they stand or sit – but they do.” – Jo Eady

So please, the next time you are in this situation, choose to sit at the table with everyone else.

Here are some practical tips to help you and to show up with leadership presence.

1. Sit at the Table – Sit with everyone else, this is your meeting too. Own your space by getting comfortable and introduce yourself to those sitting around you. Offer a hand shake.

2. Make your Body Language Work for You – This is all about sitting forward, no crossed arms, watching as people speak and making eye contact with them if you wish to show support.

3. Speak up – Now, you’ve shown up and are sitting at the table, it’s time for you to speak up. Ask a question, offer support by saying yes or offer up your opinion about the topic that’s being discussed.

4. Offer Warmth – We size each other up very quickly – in a matter of seconds. If you come across as warm and willing to connect, then people will think you are confident and competent. This is how we want to show up, so get to it.

5. Imposter Be Gone! – Imposter Syndrome isn’t a disease but it is something that may pop up each time you take something on or are challenged outside your comfort zone. Normalise it. And accept, it’s another leadership tool. Something to use and not something to fear or run away from especially when invited to meetings / forums.

Over to You

Do any of these resonate for you? Could any inspire you to show up more purposefully the next time you step into a meeting or forum?