If there is one thing that I wish I had learned about earlier in my career and in leadership, it would be BOUNDARIES. Knowing and exercising boundaries is one of the best and free leadership tools going. And judging by the feedback to last fortnight’s ENews where I wrote about boundaries, it seems you have a genuine interest in this topic too. Boundaries make life and leadership better!
Boundaries are often misunderstood as saying no, being difficult or putting up barriers between ourselves and others. In reality, healthy boundaries are about being clear about what we can give, what we need, and what we will—and won’t—accept. I reckon boundaries are important for everyone and particularly so for leaders. Without them, it’s just too easy to become the person who fixes everything, answers every request, carries everyone else’s problems and slowly runs out of time and energy. Good boundaries create clarity. They help you and others understand what’s expected, reduce unnecessary conflict and allow you to focus on what really matters most. The bit I like is that they help you to keep out of stuff / issues etc you don’t need to get involved with and as a result you have more time for your own work etc.
“When leaders have healthy boundaries, they have more capacity to listen, think strategically, make good decisions and support others without taking everything on themselves. Sometimes the most powerful leadership statement is simply: “This is what I can do. This is what I can’t do. And this is what needs to happen next.” Healthy boundaries don’t make life smaller. They create the space to spend your time, energy and attention on the things that matter most” – Jo Eady.
Here are some practical ways of leading with boundaries.
1. Know what matters to you – Before you can establish a boundary, you need to understand what you are protecting. Is it your time, family, wellbeing, focus, values or quality of work? Clear priorities make boundaries much easier to define.
2. Say it clearly and simply – You don’t need a long explanation. Try: “I can’t take that on right now,” or “I’m available until 4pm.” Clear is kinder than vague.
3. Don’t confuse guilt with doing something wrong – Setting a boundary can feel uncomfortable, particularly if you are used to being helpful. Feeling guilty doesn’t necessarily mean your boundary is unreasonable. Sometimes it simply means you’re doing something differently. You will often experience push back when you implement a new boundary.
4. Be consistent – A boundary isn’t really a boundary if you make exceptions every time someone pushes back. Consistency teaches others what they can expect from you—and teaches you to trust yourself.
5. Let others manage their response – This can be the hardest part. You can communicate respectfully and still have someone be disappointed, frustrated or unhappy. Their reaction belongs to them (not YOU). Your responsibility is to communicate your boundary clearly and respectfully.
Over To You
Do any of these resonate for you? Could any be helpful in your work / relationships today?
